Just a few weeks ago I made a decision to fast. First time IN MY LIFE I decided to fast on my own. The Daniel Fast. An entire five days of fruits, vegetables, and water. I was fasting for clarity. I was asking God some very tough questions and I wanted to hear clearly as to get guidance on what to do and honestly, it wasn’t the physical part of fasting that was the hardest.
As an emotional woman who has spent most of my life more broken than whole, I form emotional attachments to men that I shouldn’t out of my brokenness. Recently, I have formed one of these such connections. Although that connection had ended prior to the fast, I didn’t realize how dependent I had become on the wrong people until I took away the food that gave me a momentary distraction.
To put it simply, I am ready to be in love. I would like to get married soon and I dream and imagine my life with someone all the time. What we will do for the kingdom of God. How our relationship will be. The places we will reach together that would seem unreachable on our own. Yet my desires had caused me to shift my focus from waiting on God to scouting my options. Until I fasted.
Not being able to console my emotions with chocolate was devastating. So I prayed. Staring at my phone every two seconds realizing I didn’t have a significant other to talk to all the time made me feel lonely. So I prayed. Feeling down because I felt like my desire for a relationship was so far out of reach and I couldn’t eat fried chicken to distract me from the feeling. Yet again, I prayed.
Drink water. Get a negative thought. Pray. Drink more water. Vegetables. Fruit. Water. Feeling lonely? Prayer instead of chocolate. Water. Prayer
That was my week and honestly, I can’t wait to do it again. Why? Because I realized who my man really was! These emotional connections I felt like I needed from men never left me feeling complete, but those moments of intense prayer just to fight a thought or a graving with God left me feeling weightless. I felt free. I felt at peace. I felt loved.
I realized, I was never alone. The emotional connection I always craved was always right there, waiting for me to start the conversation.
In short, that week of fasting reminded me, God is first and foremost my number one man. He is my best friend. The strongest emotional and mental connection I will form. He is my love. He is my peace. There is nothing that can substitute that relationship. Not food. Not a man. Not even chocolate (and I LOVE chocolate).
If you’ve never made the decision to fast on your own, I highly encourage you to do so. Whether it’s to get clarity on an issue you’re struggling with, or just to get closer to God.
I came out of my fast completely in love with my Savior. I pray you will fall in love with Him, too. I promise, it’s the greatest love you’ll ever know.